Saudade

Not feeling right, I'm feeling blue. But yet I cover all these tears with my hyperactive laughs and all those Instagram stories that showed you that I was happy. Sometimes I hide behind my own motivational quotes about life or love that I write. Or behind my thinking that some couples can really fall in love with each others.

Have you ever felt tired to put your heart into somebody's hand? Even thought to let them make you feel a lil piece of happiness. Tired of feeling something, whether it's good or not?
I am. I'm 20 yet my heart is 60, she told me that I can't trust nobody.

I moor my own body into their souls, and sometimes on their bodies. Yet I failed to set my heart behind while they only gave me an empty shell. I don't know how they can be that smart or just me that stupidly and constantly thinking that someday someone could ever love me right.

Fucked up, it always fucked up.

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